What I REALLY want!

How many times am I going to post something like this? As many times as it takes for me to really get it. After reading some more about Shai! By the way...I LOVE LOVE LOVE her. She is so super FABULOUS! And so blessed. I love to associate with people like her. I realized that the dreams that are in my heart...are just there. Why? Because I have not yet really allowed myself to accept that they are real and deserving of life. Every good idea deserves life. That is what it is there for. I know what I want my life to look like...as you can tell from my earlier posts. I know what I want to drive, what I want my house to look like, I can even guess how I want to feel...but what "part" do I want to play in it. That is something that I have conveniently left out. I want to be DYNAMIC! Not just because I want to be the Queen Bee...but because inside my heart of hearts...I AM Dynamic! I have lots of creative ways in which to express myself, but I fear that I would not be accepted. Why do I fear that? Simple...because I do not accept myself. I do not allow myself to be who I am, in the deepest recesses of my heart. The most potent vulnerability--behind the masks--through the mental fog. I want to be ALL that I AM! I want for people to read what I write. They dont have to like it, I guess. That is not what its all about. Its about me having the courage to offer you the most precious piece of me. I want to. I want to encourage everyone to allow their souls to shine through! Like I pray for every day. I yearn to be useful. I want for my life to be deeply useful in some way to the whole of humanity, but I would settle for just being loved and appreciated by the people in my world. I want to be IN LOVE. With all of the bounties of life. I want to be one with the Love of God! And have that be what I radiate to the universe. I want to get my business idea off the ground of the ground. I want to grow in my faith until there is no seeming difference between God's love for me and the Love I have within myself. I want for my every breath to be an expression of his love, blessings, and his grace. All that is Good--I desire to BE. Freedom. I want my heart to be light and open and REAL! I want to mix and mingle with people like me...who want the very best...and unlike me (up until today) goes and makes things happen. I am extending my boundaries so much right now...and tho its scary...Its EXHILARATING! So just to see them revised...
I will make a goal board--TODAY!
I will see one of my works in a publication--this year.
I will go out and find like minded people to hang with at least once a month--beginning THIS month.
I will make a plan (subject to revisions by God) for how to achieve my business goal--this year.
I will BE the person that I WANT to BE!
I will no longer entertain attitudes that are not conducive to the lifestyle that I truly desire. Whether mine or anyone else's.

God gave me this life...and I intend not to waste it--"trying" or "worrying" or at the worst "wasting" it. I am very thankful for this day and any others that I get to be a part of. I will use my gifts! I will SHINE! Thank you, God! You're the best! Love.