Finding Balance IN God

I am an extremist! Either I strive to be perfect or I dont strive at all. Usually when I get down on myself, I leave myself no leeway to be human. I expect that I ought to be perfect. But when I am feeling blessed, I dont remember these times. Its as if the depressed person and her rational mind doesnt exist. Or at least its like a distant memory. I actually love her, because from this place...I KNOW that she knows not what she do! haha I LOVE those times, but I realized yesterday...that perpective is only a 'switch' away. When I find myself getting down, there are steps that I can take to bring myself into alignment with God. He is not going to come to me...he is already here. I have to strive to stay with him. It was such a GOOD lesson for yesterday because I used to think that people who kept their mind on God...were avoiding life. I had a suspiciousness towards them. I loathed people who thanked God (out loud) several times throughout the day...and who listen to only "spritual" music. And people who consider every stroke of luck, Jesus! And for those very reasons...I have been miserable, because it is in my nature to be in that place. To dwell here, in all that I AM. Where I REMAIN thankful, and have eyes to see the miraculous that is literally plastered all over everyday. It is my makeup, to give thanks for the many many blessings big and small that God offers to me everyday. It is my responsibility to make sure that I have many ways to uplift my spirit to its rightful place of joy and peace. Be it dance, sprit stirring music, art, crafts, laughter. It is truly a gift that I can pray and communicate with God...whenver and wherever I want or need to. That alone is a reason for CELEBRATION!! He has given me many ways to find him...yet I scoffed at them all. How high and mighty am i? Or did I "think" I was. By no means am I arrogant enough to think that I wont ever get sucked back into the world of self importance, but the more and more times I visit the land of freedom, the more I will KNOW that this is the place for me. For this and ALL of life...I am so grateful. God I love you. Jesus...you too! And thank you both for the roads to work...I KNOW that you are real...cuz in the "real world"--that could NOT have happened!!! Yall are the bomb-fo-evah! Love, All-ways! Your proud baby, Keelah! *wink* Her Flyness!