Jealous love--oxymoronic? hmmm

Last night I went to church and it was good. But when I got home, my man decided he was going to go and chill with his friends for a few hours. No big deal...my ego wanted to make it a big deal, but in reality it wasnt. So fast forwarding cuz it was really boring. My son and I ate, laughed a little, had a few spitups, changes, tv, songs...and then he went to sleep. When he woke up...he was talking for a while. Smiling and gurgling but after a while, he kept looking around the corner for my man. But he didnt come. So J progressively got more agitated...until after about a half hour...it was full blown wailing! When my man did get back home, my son practically leapt to him. Okay...he's only 5 months he didnt leap...perse, but he buried himself into his chest and rubbed himself on his neck and calmed down. He looked at him as if he hadnt seen him in years. It was a look of love and excitement mixed with relief. And the sounds of his little breathing as his heart slowed down to regular pace was just...beautiful. My man admitted that the welcome almost made him cry. Now my whole thing is this??? What am I? Chopped liver. I felt so bad. Of course this just confirmed a stupid nagging thought in my mind...that I will NOT justify with words, but...sigh. I was a bit sad. And my feelings were hurt. Isnt this supposed to be the other way around? If at all. I AM however thankful that he got to feel that love that he was never able to offer his own father. That is a beautiful miracle. Thank you, God. But I want to experience that too. I am aware that what they share has nothing to do with our relationship...but how do I keep from actually being envious of the love that they share? Is this normal...or do I need therapy? Not that I can afford therapy...so I hope that is not the answer. Love.