05 March, 2007

My love

I havent really posted on motherhood lately. The last post I made was quite disturbing. I felt inadeqate and inept and totally unable to handle all that was being thrown at me...but I am so happy and quite THANK-FULL to say that things are definitely working out. I want to thank God for that. My son is four months...and we get along famously. I am still learning, but my level of tolerance for things that used to send me spinning into self doubt and pity, now elevate me IN LOVE. I love to be with him. It is my favorite part of the day. I cant wait to go home and be near him. I love to watch him. I love to smile with him. I love to sing for him. I love to be with my intuition and give him what he needs. I love to dance with him and I love to hold him while he falls to sleep. I love to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up...and I love to comfort him when he is fussy. I love knowing when he needs to burp! (kinda weird-i know lol) I still dont like changing du-du diapers, but the Good waaay outweighs the bad...so I can deal. I am grateful for him--and his love. Just wanted to put in writing how GOOD change can be. Note to self: And you didnt believe that change was possible. humph!

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