21 March, 2007

Time for a change

I want to quit my job! This feeling is overwhelming! I dont know what to do. I have requested some informations for some graphic design programs around town, but lately I have the sudden and overwhelming sensation to just...BE OUT! This job was perfect for me nearly two years ago when I came here. It was a dream opportunity. I was unemployed and I listed several specific qualities that I wanted in employment and I got them all. I found employment with a small company where my boss was fair, and accessible. Casual corporate environment (as I used to build axles for trucks in dirty jeans and t-shirts). Nice pay (coming from zero!) and steady growth and advancement. (got a dollar raise every 6 months) Get along with my co-workers. And a job that utilizes some of my natural gifts and abilities. I felt like I actually "used" myself here. And I got true satisfaction out of a job well done...however nowadays I'm feeling different. I want more. There is more to me than there was then...and I am no longer feeling fulfilled or satisfied with what I do. I still LOVE this idea of the company and love to help people realize their dreams and watch their companies grow...but now its been activated in me...that I want to watch a dream of my own grow! I want more! I want more flexible hours so that I can spend more time doing leisure things and being with my son. I want to do something that is creative and fun and that I can get paid EXCELLENT wages for. I dont want to work just for money...but I dont want lack of money to be even a remote issue. I want to be able to be MYSELF while working. I want to set the tone for how I am...not corporate structures or an "image" of a company unless its my own. sigh...But knowing all that...I still dont know what I want to do...but I guess I didnt know the what for this either...and it really DID fit for a while. While at this job...I did gain some skills that I did not have before. I can navigate my way around multi line phones like nobodys business. I am much more confident in my ability to market myself and the company (which I totally believe in) I am organized and efficient. And multi-tasking? Nadda problem! Problem solving...EXCELLENTE! I am also much more confident in who I am as a person and the things that I have to offer. Being the only black girl in this office was one of my most challenging life situations to date. And with me being an urban black girl and not the kind they are used to was even more difficult. But I think I did aight! haha I am very thankful for this opportunity, but now I need more. I could take on more responsiblity here, but I just dont see the growth being something that I need on my path. I want something new and fresh and exciting. Something that motivates me to begin working every day and compels me to be my best! This isnt doing that anymore. So God...whats up? I'm ready when you are! You know my heart--inside and out! I am ready for what comes next. Love.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Begin a brainstorm of what you want to do....list the pros and cons and go from there! Research, Research, Research, resources and your heart! I am sure you will come up with something that Keelah likes to do! Good Luck sis!