She wanted to do WHAT????

I didnt mention this before today...but it is begging to be said. First you know that I am a new mommy...and if you read dear mama you know that it is not the easiest thing for me. I suspect that I do suffer from a mild case of postpartum, but...thats neither here nor there. I have set the intention to overcome this, and it will be done. But my sister came over with two of her friends last week and one of them is a new mother also. Our children are about the same age. Well she asked me what was it like for me...(to be a mom) and I answered honestly. Its okay but its getting better. Its really challenging because I am a bit of a selfish person. What I meant by that was up until my pregnancy, I was focused solely on me and my life--(of course that state of mind is not a luxury I can afford nowadays-haha)--I mean I still do...but I htink of improving my life so that the life my son grows up in...is worthy of him. Well anyway...I didnt break it down like that because never before has a "mother" not understood what I meant, when I spoke of my difficulties. He answer when I asked her the same was "its fun!!! its easy!!!" Hmmm-must be nice! I must admit, I was jealous when I watched the ease with which she handled her daughter. The way they touched, the way she moved it was pure grace. It was natural for her. I felt really bad, maybe my son deserved better, but instead he got me! Oh well...I'll get it. He loves me. sigh Her daughter never cried not once...she literally entertained herself for like an hour!! Unheard of in my house. My son can talk to the angels and stare at the lights with the best of them...but when he is done with that...he wants human attention...and you WILL comply. Thats the way he has us trained, so thats the way it is. haha Well anyway when he cries I hold him, when he is upset..I try to console him. When he wants to talk and spit...I talk and become a spit catcher! I dont know what else to do. I dont "get" the whole let them cry thing...but I do suspect that I will get it the next time around! *wink..well anyway. I still feel fumbly sometimes when I pick him up, or bathe him, or dress him. Its not hard...just awkward for lack of a better word. Well anyway..fast forward to the next day...my sister calls me and tells me that her friend said she wanted to smack me...for what I said! I'm thinking it was all good, so I'm like what...I do remember her asking me in a smart ass way do I have a hard time getting a babysitter cuz he was so fussy? But I blew her off...cuz I think ht's just fine the way he is. And for her information...NO I dont! But anyway...she said it made her mad that I said it was not easy to switch gears. Now granted it was not hard for her, and that is obvious..jealous confirmed...so what is your point???? I was just so hurt that when I admitted something true about me...that it was perceived to be this big ugly thing...and not just a shortcoming that I have. And in reality its not that...its a learning experience. I tried to think mean things about her about how she has no job, living in her mans mama's basement, how he doesnt respect her, and was not even there for the birth. He doesnt even want to be with her...he just feels bad putting his baby mama out! Then I found out...that she is only 20! Now granted, there are some mature 20's...however, she is not one of them. Her good mother testimonies were that she matches all her little shoes to her outfits, and that her daughter drunk 8 oz. of milk at 2 months!! I realized that maybe our minds are different, while I do yearn for that intimacy that I saw between her and her daughter, for real, for real.. I am more focused on providing a life for my child. Allowing him to have a LIFE! And that spans waaay farther than what he is wearing today...I want him to have a loving household, support, encouragement, a great EXAMPLE in me and his dad, God-first and foremost, goals, good morals, be grounded healty self esteem. So knowing all this...why did her comment pierce my soul? I mean dont get me wrong...I wouldve beat that little girl down! But why did she get to me like that? Why did it hurt so bad? Why did I mentally attack her? And tear her down? Why did her opinion of me make me feel defensive enough to get offensive? Why is she NEVER welcome in my home again? And why did I give that heffa a picture of my son...I want it back!!