14 March, 2007
I AM....
such a BITCH today! I am not feeling this shit at all! I am at work instead of at my son's doctors appt. with him! I am at this job where I dont want to be today. Before I go all off on a full blown rant. I am appreciative to have a way to earn money for the things that I need to make my life work--IF that is what we can call this. Now back to my tude. I AM ANGRY. I AM NOT FEELING THIS DAY. I AM NOT FEELING THE PEOPLE SURROUNDING ME. They talk about such stupid things. Whenever there is an opening in space...someone finds a way to talk about themselves. I'm like hello get a blog--so that people can choose if they want to hear this shit. You are stupittttt!!! And then they practically FORCE you to respond. I dont have shit to say! And if you are wise, you would leave me alone today...for real! I am SO not in the mood. On an up note...I did get my period. Which may or may not be contributing to these mood swings. I am pissed off at this shit. Chris was just reading over my shoulder...and that shit just made my temperature rise about 20 degrees instantly. Which lets me know that it is me. Cuz normally, that wouldnt bother me...but TODAY...Lord help me. Cuz ooh wee...I'm hot! and not in a good way! I want my real life now. This space is becoming more and more unlivable for me. It is eating away at all resolutions for peace. It is making me...someone else. I dont like who I am becoming. But while I'm being this way...all I know is that everyone betta stay away from me...cuz I am waiting for someone to cross me...I WANT to smack some damn body today. And I really think I could do it with NO REMORSE!! Gotta love these gangsta moments. They dont come by often...but when they do....I feel sorry for all that aint me! Cuz right now...I just dont give a what!!! argh...
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4 comments:
Man, I just typed out this long post and lost it... :(
anyways, here is the shorter version....As I read your post I said.... WOW Ms Keelah is mad....even tho it was a couple of days ago, I was really feeling your pain...I tried to look back on my own life and tried to remember a time when I was ever that angry or annoyed and it didnt take me long to remember the times of my Ex-husband. Try not to let ANYTHING steal your joy! whether it be stress, a companion, or just everyday life! Take a deep breath......in and then out again....do it about 10 times! lol
Seriously, I can remember feeling just like you felt....I can remember being so angry with my situation, I could remember being miserable and not seeing any possible way out....GLOOM and DOOM is all I saw....I took it a little further than you though....it wasnt just a vent on a blog like you have done....(But this is where it manifest from if you let it) The beginning thoughts started here but grew into thoughts of homicide....(ex husband) LOL... for real tho...a friend of mine said something to me that was so simple yet so profound that it changed my life forever!!! 4 words changed me.....
"Make Moves, or shut UP!!!!"
those words changed me for the better.... I had to look deep within me and make a conscious decision to change my situation, quit complaining, and CHANGE IT! Whatever was wrong, make it right!! or else be quiet about it...Walk into your season of restoration...it's your time!!!
Hmmm...make moves or shut up! I like it! I am going thru so many emotions lately its not funny...I cant wait to settle down, but I guess I HAVE to purge this shit out first...well at least it will all be worth it! Peace is hard won it seems.
make moves or shut up....i like that too and i think i'm going to use that for myself! thanks ladies!!!
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