01 May, 2007
Ize Re-tah-did
I have a flat tire! I get off work in half an hour and I have a effin flat. A nice gentleman told me like an hour ago...instead of me being thankful (which deep down I was) I wondered how this man knew what car was mine and where to find me...as I work in a large office building with many suites. Hmmm...And my coworker has told me that she is going to go and borrow a jack and take me to get another tire so that I dont have to worry. I wasnt worried tho. My plan: Roll on that tire to the gas station...and put air in it...then make it back to the city so that I can purchase a tire at the tire shop. That is a good plan. However it made my coworkers-yes the racist ones-(lol) nervous so they concocted this plan...Why dont I want to accept the help? It makes more sense...I guess I just dont want to feel like YOU looked out for ME. I dont want to feel indebted to anyone...and I should KNOW better...but I cant help it. I dont want her help. I would like to do it ALL BY MYSELF, thank-you-very-much!!!!! Me and my faith. haha is that stoopit or what? What if this is God's way of letting me know that I would not make it...its not like I have a cell phone to call AAA (which I also dont have either) Why cant I accept this help, when I 'seem like' I need it? Why do I have issues with the word....NEED? I am falling to fuggin pieces! But my ego is glad to announce that I am not alone. My other co-worker just asked me how did I feel about this situation...cuz she would feel weird! I am not alone! whew!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.JPG)
2 comments:
i'm like that too...i refuse to accept help from people but i have no problem giving it (i remember your post on the homeless guy). for me, i think that it's a control issue. i think that you're right, we feel indebted to people who help us. but you know what? those people probably don't even feel like that at all. they probably are just genuinely trying to help out. i mean, either way, you never know but at this point in my life, i'm giving what my heart desires without seeking anything in return and i'm taking all the help that's offered to me. if they think i owe them something, let them....
xoxoxo
I like that! let them! In the end...she just wanted to help me--bet there for me, very badly Weird intensity...but I guess...Its my issue with receivership...and I need to get over that FAST...cuz if I believe that before I ask...I have already been answered...I better get in the habit of receiving the help in any way that it comes.
Post a Comment