Okay...So after work, buy my mom dinner...take it over there. Had fun! My son pooped himself out with all of his scooting and rolling. I get a slurpee on the way home. A large cherry one! mmmm [insert perfect evening music here]
So later...I take the garbage out (for the first time in like 31/2 years) neither here nor there....Im doin what needs to get done. Feelin good! Go in the house...wash hands...forget my damn slurpee in the car. So grab baby and walks my ass casually out the door...close it behind me...(Shit! Damn door locks behind me!!!) No keys, no phone, no change, no landlords phone number. I am screwed! I go thru something resembling a panic!! What am I going to do? Think think...Usually I call my man right now...or my mama (Yep in a panic--I'm one of those "I wont my mamaaaa!) Have no clue what to do...this boy is heavy...and he is not even helping me by wrapping his limbs around me...he is limp. So I am in the hallway, with my dangling son, my slurpee and nowhere to go. All of a sudden, my chinese food starts to work! (yeah TMI--AND????) My mind is racing....what do I do? I'm a grown azz woman--with a child who depends on me to KNOW what to do...and I'm thinking Please mama read my mind--come and save me. Needless to say...it did not work, tho it has in the past...grrr. So as my stomach continues to turn and make unGodly noises...I come to the conclusion that there is only one thing left to do...break the damn door down!! First I rammed it holding my baby...cuz the floor in the hall is filthy (getting work done)...then I though what if something flew out...I could never forgive myself..so I place him in the mail bin (he did NOT like that)...and proceeded (just like in the movies) to break the damn door down with my pregnant shoulders. It HAD to be hilarious. If it wasnt me, of course. I tore the locks the chains and the whole damn molding off the door! The plan was to fix it back so that it worked and looked good...so much for all my miraculous stunts for the day. It is a HOT MESS! My sister came over and put an ottoman and a tv behind it...and thats holding it...until I call the owner today. I am going to be so embarrased explaining...that I locked myself out, and so I broke the door down. I feel like a damn gorilla! And I dont want to pay for this...I know its my fault...But...dang! Havent I been thru enough already?? lol
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4 comments:
wow...that was funny! girl, i know the feeling though. i almost did it once but my ex was with me and told me that it costed waaay more to break it down than to call a locksmith so that's what i did but if he wasn't there believe me, i would've done the same thing!!! lol
Um Keelah....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHEW!
Hey Keelah, that story was hilarious. Glad you were able to get that door down though. Once, when I was very young I accidentally locked myself, my mom, sis, and three family friends out of the station-wagon in the middle of nowhere. My mom BEAT THE BEJESUS out of me, infront of every one! So to this day everytime I leave a room, house or car I make sure I have the keys first.
oh my GOD...(insert blink smiley here) How in the heck did you break a door down??? I must have missed something....???? sorry bout that love!!!!
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