Exactly where I'm SPOSED to be...

If you have been following my journey through this phase of life, you may have noticed a common thread throughout every post...discontent with the way things are. That is something that has always been curious to me...how insane one can drive oneself being adverse to the way that things are ALREADY showing up. I mean to be adverse to something that is coming makes sense. Then maybe there is something you can do to change the way things will turn out, but to be angry and just depressed about life as it is presently doesnt do anything...just feeds your anger and depression. Last night...while I talked to God about the challenges that are facing me in the coming days, instead of feeling overwhelmed, which seems to be my default some days...I felt invigorated. Like "OH IM BOUTS TO SEE WHAT IM MADE OF FA REAL!!" And I am totally up for the challenge. Why? Whats different now? I am looking at life from an elevated position. I dont see hardship, I see room for growth. I dont see being alone, I see time to REALLY get in touch with me. I dont see whats going to happen months down the line...I see me effectively handling each and every moment that comes up from now til then. With ease and grace...cuz thats the stuff I'm made of. And this experience will give life an opportunity to prove that to me. Or the other way around...dont know. But I am so excited. My son and I are going to Louisiana for the 4th!!!! We will stay for about 5 days!!! I am so excited. I-CANNOT-WAIT! I'm going to the boot! say what? I m going to the Boot! I cant wait...I have never posted pics but I will definately do so this time. I am going to visit New Orleans and hopefully get to see my LOVELY family while I am there. I AM SO HAPPY right now. No its not that constant peace that I long for...but its an excitement that I have not been able to muster for a LOOOONG time! Life should be a series of moments of eager anticipation. Yes...this is GOOD!