Fabulous Flaw?? to me anyway

I am too damn excited over my man leaving for a while. Now mind you...I do feel excitement for him as well as HIS cause. He hasnt traveled a lot in his life...or experienced a lot of different places, and I know this will be so good for him in his life. And he is going to provide for our family better than he presently can in this place, so I am feeling really good about that. But upon deeper examination. I am also feeling good because I will not have to hear any damn backlash about my spending habits. There will be a marked savings in petro expenses...I am going to relax my budget a bit and not have to feel guilty about my "frivolous spending". [insert evil laugh here] I will not have to ask...what would you like to eat today? Because guess what???...I'm going to have tuna fish and bologna sandwiches or grilled cheese EVERY DAY!!!! Vegetables...isnt that what my multi is for? Overexxageration...I will sneak a vegetable in there a few times a day...and fruit. but for the most part...I get to make decisions PURELY on what I want....and that excites me to no end!!! For so long I have had to collaborate on things that I wanted to be just MY decision. Now I may be wrong and a bit selfish...but I just dont like to ask opinions on certain things...and those things just happen to seem like exaclty what a wife would HAVE to ask about. I think I may be jaded, but I feel that relationships kill a part of me that makes me feel LIKE ME! Well not kills it...but 'blends' it. I feel like a unit as opposed to an individual...and I like feeling like an individual. I dont want to imply that I dont like living my life with him...its great...but when I want Natural Cranberry Juice and you want VERY FINE-ultraviolet colored juice! Sigh...makes me crazy...now I can just cash out my 8 bucks on my little healthfood store juice and revel in the fact that there is NO ADDED SUGAR...yep its very expensive, but good for me and I'm worth it! And no it isnt in the budget...but I got it anyway! nah nah! I hope I dont go overboard and have to hear an 'I told you sos' when he gets back...but hey! Whatver right? The damage will already be done...and I will be smiling underneath my..."You were right...I was wrong...I REALLY learned my lesson this time. :D I know that once I am alone for days and days and days...I will feel it...but...I am gone have my ju-UCE!!!! And some space to really FEEL my own energies.