11 April, 2007
Am I wrong???
Now usually when someone starts off anything with that question...I usually automatically say YES!!! But hear me out...I have a situation...that I try to be objective about...but its just not working. My mom is watching my son this morning...and when I called he was crying. Now noone likes the sound of their baby crying I'm sure...but what she said threw me. She said, "He wants to be picked up...and I'm not going to do that". Now on one side, I understand that if you do cave in to every demand that you will produce a spoiled child (yes he is a bit spoiled, we pick him up and cuddle him MOST of the time) But never!!?? I'm not understanding why the idea of giving him affection when he is craving it...is considered a bad thing? Now mind you, she does hold him...but not when he cries for attention. She says sometimes that he just wants to be held...as if that is a good reason to "not" hold him. I am at a loss. I feel like his desire to be held...is a DAMN good reason to do it!!! He is a baby. It is important for his father and I to create a LOVING atmosphere as both of us were raised in environments where it was basically not okay to expect for our emotional needs to be met. So Im knowing thats why we are so sensitive to his needs in that way. I want him to be emotionally healthy and i dont think thats a good thing to let him know early that i will keep you clean and move your digits and talk to you...but if you need to feel my closeness...i may or may not give it to you. Because I dont want you to beleive that you will always get your way in life...I dont think thats the best way to teach that lesson. I want my son to beleive that he can always expect for his needs to be met. Now reality is...he wont always get everything he wants...but in his family...I want for him to feel safe, protected, appreciated and above all that he matters. Not just his physical needs. Personally I think thats where a lot of parents go wrong..giving too much emphasis on taking care of the physical needs of the child and totally ignoring the rest...children are not just little bodies! They are little humans with complexities and human needs for closeness and intimacy just like the rest of us...I feel like I'm too passionate about this...and I may be wrong...but what do you think? Am I taking this too seriously? sigh Or am I just in a mood and everything that rubs me--hurts?
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5 comments:
Keelah, I feel ya and your mother too. Is this your first baby? How old is he?
It really depends on the baby and why the baby is crying. NO don't like the baby cry forever. No, don't try and control a baby.
I help out with my cousin's little girl who is 7 months old. My grandma who takes care of in the day holds her alot and she gets used to it. I tend to play with her and then I let her play to herself with toys, her bouncer, or walker. I talk to her and play.
yeah, this one's tough. i say the same way he'll have to deal with different personalities when he gets grown, he mind as well get an early start as long as he isn't being abused.
xoxoxo
Shai...yes this is my first baby and he is 5 months...and I kinda see her point too...but I dont want to. :(
Unknown...I know yall are both right. I guess I just want my mother to have the type of relationship that I want her to have with him. That is ALL EGO! I can see it now, but when I wrote this...oh I swore mine was the only perspective there was. haha
He is five months. Maybe when he is a few months older, he will not be as demanding. He is must out of the newborn to 3 months stage. Once he is like 7 or 8 months we won't need as much cuddling. They get active then and entertain themselves.
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