Big azz bug(s)!!!!

So...I go to the bathroom a lot right. TMI? Maybe...but true. So I usually dont acutally LOOK! Cuz its pretty autopilot at this point. Well yesterday...I am about to leave my bathroom and I look down...and to my surprise...what do I see? Well I dont know...but I think it was a friggin cricket or something. It was the BIGGEST BUG I have EVER SEEN INDOORS!! MAYBE EVER!!! The fear gripped my throat, and chest...it was SOOO ugly! Did I mention it was SOOO BIG??? Now normally this is where my high pitched scream comes into play, so that my man will come and scream at me for screaming, while he handles the situation...but...he's in friggin...LOU-EEZ-I-ANA!!! Anger...So I dont know what to do....I dont want any of MY SHOES touching this thing. I'm scared to spray Tilex on it (which was my first thought) What if it can fly? I am going to freak out. Then I hear my son...and out of nowhere...I get courage to KILL, KILL, KILL! I smushed the shit out of it while screaming obscenities at it! Talking about hard to kill. I was so proud of myself...but now I'm wondering how the hell something that big just happened up in my house! Now I'm worried. I wrap the bug in some old stretch pants and throw them away...I secretly call myself the Terminator! I look at Jeremiah, like "Mommy just saved you...and you dont even know it...but you're welcome!" Yeah...I'm the ish!

fast forward 30 minutes...I am going in the kitchen to make My-Mi some milk milk, and mama some Kool-aid! (and yes I know kool aid is garbage) and I hear a chirp. Now its late and I do have the window cracked...but that ish sounded too close. I look in the trash...and who is there..but a-NOTHER damn cricket thing! Its just chillin...lookin at me..like you thought you did something huh? I'm terrified. Dont know if its the same one...or a NEW one. Dont have time to figure it out. I try and smash it with a pizza box. No dice! So after a few minutes of sheer panic, I pour some bleach on it...and then stab it with the broom--REPEATEDLY. I closed the bag and took it out immediately. Praying that it woudl not crawl out of the hole onto my hand...or that it wasnt sending out warning signals in bug...and I would be ambushed by a whole lot of them.

As soon as I got back in the house...I check all the screens with the open windows...no holes. So how did they get in. I am very paranoid now. I HATE BUGS. And I have no idea how they got in!!!

Dear God...what on Your green earth is going on???? If the lesson is to learn courage....then hopefully I passed this test. I would hate to have to move. But I cant deal with this. You KNOW me, better than anyone else. Me no do bugs...so either please keep them out...or make a way for me to move. Thank you. Love.

Keelah