15 August, 2007

We still cool right?

So this is the deal...I hold a lot in. Well I used to...cuz lately with the heightened sensitivity and all, I notice just how much it takes to sugarcoat things...or try and pretend that things are okay when they are not. I always thought that was a symbol of maturity to deal with life's seeming injustices with a (forced smile)...but lately, I'm just seeing things in a different light. I am very tactful. Its something I pride myself on...A lot of times If I cant find a "light" enough way to say something, I just hold it in. Causing myself, (and now conseqently my child) a lot of anguish. FUCK THAT! I am not going to allow anyone in this world to think they can say or do whatever the fuck they want to...and I will just DEAL! What the hell was I thinking? And the problem is...People EXPECT for me to show up the same way I always have...and that girl is GONE! I am not going to be persuaded to think like the majority! I am not going to feel bad for being who I am. Actually its all good. Because the more honest I am to me...the more honest I can be with my entire world. And the more honest everyone can be with me. My relationships are improving, my attitude seems worse...but thats only cuz I'm facing a lot of oppostion for speaking my mind. Its like some people think I should consider the feelings of everyone else...then me. Ha ha! Not in MY LIFE! In my life...MY shit comes first! The end. I am not going to inconvenience myself so that you feel more comfortable around me. What the fuck kinda shit is that??? If you can't handle me as I am...then whose problem is that? Mine? Sheeeeeyiiid!!!! AAAANNNNNT! Wrong answer...moving right along...la la la!

11 comments:

Organized Noise said...

If you can't handle me as I am...then whose problem is that? Mine? Sheeeeeyiiid!!!! AAAANNNNNT! Wrong answer...moving right along...la la la!

Can I used that????? I want to put that as my disclaimer.

Organized Noise said...

Oh yeah, where are my manners. First time through. Visiting via Nic

Valaria said...

Yeah!!!! Helllzzz Yeah! You Go Girl!!! Ya Know I got yur back! Never fall into "the norm" or the regular expectations that other people have for you! DO YOU KEELAH!!!DO YOU!!!

Keelah said...

Hey Organized Noise! Thanks for stopping by! And yeah...feel free! Its all LOVE!

Keelah said...

Val...You know!

Sweet KeiKei said...

finally....a virgo sees it the leo way! lol

that's right girl...get that dirt off ya shoulders!!!

naw but seriously, i always admired the virgo ability to keep their emotions in check but sometimes it's good to just let it all hang out!!! it's invigorating and you feel free!!!

Keelah said...

Unknown!!! I could get VERY addicted to this! :) I know I'm going to have to find some middle ground...cuz noone is going to like me if I just go around letting them know what I'm REALLY thinking...but...right now, Who cares? NOT I!!!

Sweet KeiKei said...

definitely have to find that middle ground....eventually!!! lol

Nic said...

That's right girl. If they got a problem with you or the new way you're thinking..tell them to kick rocks :)

Keelah said...

Unknown...you are right...EVENTUALLY! LOL

Nic--Pretty much!! haha

Muze said...

girrrrl, i had this epiphany in college and although i've toned it down a little bit, i can totally understand where you're coming from.