Broke is a state of mind!

I was pondering on my way to work, how I seem to not have enough money for the lifestyle that I would like to live. I dont think that I am wanting for too much. Actually I think its perty damn reasonable. I want to have all of the conveniences that I need at home to make my home 'feel' like it belongs to me. I want to have all of my things, including my car in excellent working order. I crave organization...even though the actual work of making that happen proves to be challenging for me. I want a functional life. I want all things to just "work". I want to have nice clothes, money in the bank as well as a little in my pocket. I want to have a couple of fabulous handbags and at least 3 pairs of sexy yet comfortable shoes. I want for my bills to get paid as soon as they come through the door...and I want enjoy life. I want to always have healthy foods and good recipes on hand...and social activities that stimulate my mind and invigorate my soul. I want to include massages, facials and mani's and pedi's here and there. And yoga at least twice a week...seems like a must. I would love to swim a couple of times a week ideally, but I know that since I work and have a little baby, that is probably not feasible. Anyway...these things, I believe that adding these things to my life would definately make life more livable. I see this as a healing that I NEED to take place. I need to satisfy the inner urgings of my soul that is directing me toward a life that is more aligned with my true needs. Now I dont know if any or all of these are necessary for me to reap the benefits, but I do know that the number one reason that I cannot do these things is not time, like I like to think it is. I keep telling myself that I dont have enough money for them. But I have to question. Is that the real reason?

I mean I know that I dont have a lot of money, and I am in debt up to my knees...but is there a way around that? I have this sneaking suspicion that there may be, and I am refusing to look at alternative methods of getting my so-called "needs" met. I am putting priority on brokeness instead of focusing on the state of SATIZFACTION!!! Now some of these things I have to pay for, like the massages, but if I wanted it to be affordable in my budget, I could go to a massage school and pay about half that I would for a regular massage. The mani's and pedi's. I could actually get one done and maintain them myself...Its not like i dont know how... for some reason, I just think that it takes away some of the luxury of having someone else do them. But I guess the point is not having someone do them so much as having them done. I could make it a priority to schedule time for all of the things that I feel I MUST include in my life. Instead of using downtime or time with my son as an excuse not to do things--I will learn to incorporate my life with the life that I want to create. It seems so simple when I am 'thinking' about it, but when I am living it...and emotions and energy levels come into play its just like...whew! I feel to exhausted to make things happen. But maybe thats why things dont happen...because I dont MAKE them. If I dont make my desires a priority? Then who will? My man? The universe? God? He put these desires here and I am trying very hard to negate them. Making up every excuse under the sun. I am not living in poverty, why and how do I have a poverty consciousness? Its not my lack of financial ability that hinders my growth and enjoyment of life...it is my thoughts about my finances. So from now on...faking it til I make it. I have enough. I find creative ways to affordably get my needs met. I find time to do what I want to do. I do what I want to do. I am fabulous. None of my desires are too big for me. They are custom made for me.