How do you raise your family...or a better yet 'fashion' your family in a way that is not the way that you were raised without being offensive to those who raised you? This is a dilemna that I face on a regla. Now...I'm sure my mom did the best she did with what she had to work with...(took a while and SEVERAL self-help books to get me to THAT conclusion). But I want to mix things up and do things a little different for my own family. See...I am a bit more health conscious than my family is. And while I do not have healthy living down to a science, my children give me the extra motivation necessary to REALLY make it happen. I want them to live in healthy, well functioning bodies...as their little systems have a lot to contend with in our modern world.
What seemed commonplace in my childhood raises definite red flags in my mind now. Like sugar consumption...and salt...and childhood obesity and obese-related illness. Even my views on showing children respect, fostering creativity and freely giving affection are all in STARK contrast to the values that my family places on them. My family considers children who are cherished, SPOILED. And children who are allowed to voice their opinions, OUT OF CONTROL. Whenever I dont want for my 11 month old son to over indulge in sweet things...I get "THE LOOK" from my mom...followed by her explanation that children need sugar sometimes! Need? And that time would be?? When their blood sugar is low. Last time I checked...Sugar was poison...and then she goes on to point out that I eat it...and blah blah. which is true...and I know in order for me to REALLY preach this...it will first have to become a practice...but my point is, right now my sons eating habits are being formed...and I would like for them to include heatlthy things...not just what every other parent I know allows their child to eat. I dont want him to even get it ingrained in his head that a cheeto is a food. Not to say that he wont ever have these things...but it is not my desire that he does...and in his first few years will probably be the only time when I can ABSOLUTELY guarantee that he wont indulge in empty calories.
When he is frustrated...and lets it out...Yes it gets on my nerves...but who I am to stop him from having a normal reaction to his desires beign thwarted...I mean...I'm no a happier when I dont get my way...only as an adult, I have learned more effective ways of dealing with that feeling. I'm SURE, (despite what mama says) I didnt come out knowing exactly how to deal with not getting what I want. I am just tired of feeling like my parenting and my views on the world are 'incorrect'. I am tired of when my child cries...for my FAMILY to say...Girl your son is {insert some bullshit here} spoiled, a cry baby, too loud, whatever. I know he can be a handfull sometimes...but he is my BABY! My first baby. And all I know is that I want the ABSOLUTE BEST FOR HIM! So if that means...drinking less juice and having more fruit, or snacking on vegetable sticks, whats the problem? Why is that viewed as a bad thing to those I hold most dear? sigh...I guess it was denial...cuz this really REALLY bothers me.
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5 comments:
This is a very important post. I'm glad you posted and I love that you are following your heart to bring up your son the way you see fit.
Looks like you and I are on the same wavelength as far as thinking about families, etc. this week :)
People dislike change. Your changing pro'lly scares them and makes them re-think some of the stances that they took when you were a child. Keep doing what is right for you and your babies so that they will get the full benefits of all the knowledge and wisdom you have about living a full, emotionally/physically healthy and joyful life.
Nikita
i agree with nikita...do what you feel is best and your children will grow up to not only respect you but love your dedication to them and their well being.
This is a great post. My godson wont eat anything other than grown up food. And not the good kind. I worry that he isn't getting the nutrition that he needs, but don't want to overstep, cause he's not my child...you know? All he likes to eat are cheetos, french fries, and mcdonalds nuggets. He's been like that for the past 6 months or so now, and he just turned 1.
good post. i think that when people become parents, they are SUPPOSED to parent the child the way they WANT to, not the way your family tells you to. you have to find your balance and remember to tell your parents that they raised you right...so why wouldn't they trust you to raise your's right? different does not mean worse. lol.
good luck
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