whatever...happy new year

I brought in the new year alone. And it was WONDERFUL!! I felt a little confused and guilty for my not being with my son, but I wasnt feeling well and it was for the best that he stay at my moms. My man was out to a friends to bring in the new year...even after I tried the ultimate guilt trip to make him stay with me (dumb ego!) but anyway...I was alone and reading a new book by Eckhart Tolle in a total state of peace. It felt so good. I didnt try to do any last minute cleaning or worry about what had to be done or fantasize about how the new year was gonna be...I just stayed in the moment and learned that in the moment...life is! And thats it. There is no room for rushing or hurrying or avoiding or any of that when you are right here right NOW. and it felt so good. I made peace with myself and my life and that is the best way to leave one year and enter into another one. or one moment or one day or however far you want to take it. It feels right to just surrender yourself to the moment as it is. I've always been a dreamer, at the expense of being a liver! Ha ha I said liver...I meant live-er. You cant dream and live your life at the same time. I realized last night for sure...that my thoughts run through my mind...but they are not me. My emotions live inside my body, but they are not me either. I am like the container for all of the functions that get played out in my life everyday...and I also felt that I was full of things that I no longer wanted to be...and upon that realization they left. They left me with nothing...and that was PERFECT! I called my mom and wished her and my baby boy a Happy New Year! My man called me at 12:01 which made me feel good on a weird level. He loves me! i said a prayer for everyone...since the shooting was RIDICULOUS! And ended my night loving my man! It was great! Life is good...when you slow down enough to pay attention to it. love