Another 4 bites the dust!!!

I am so excited to report, that despite my best efforts at complaining about all the things I do wrong, as far as health and fitness...something must be right...because another 4 lbs--GONE FOREVER!!! I know that if I really put in a full effort, then it could be so much more dramatic, but I'm aiming at longevity here, not just quick pat-on-the-head results!!! I feel very good about this. I am schduling a spa day for me when I make the 24 lb. mark. I know its an odd number, but its a personal milestone for me...and I can't wait to celebrate it! Be well everyone!

No more weighting!

I have been making small changes every week to reach my weight loss goals. So far, since adding a 30 minute walk and adding more water to my regimine, I have only lost 3 lbs. Which is good! Don't get me wrong, however I have been the same weight now for 2 weeks, and I know I have been indulging in chocolate EVERY DAY, so that of course is one thing that is going to have to cease. I know I have not plateaued, I must just be consuming waaay to many calories. So I decided to check and see how many calories it would take to maintain my current weight, and how many it would take to maintain my goal weight...and I am SHOCKED! In order to maintain my current weight, I need well over 3000 calories per day. YES! You read correctly...THREE T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D calories per D-A-Y! It is hard for me to believe, but I guess it could be. If I actually did the food journal thing, I'm sure I would see that to be true. When you dont KNOW...and guesstimate, you can be really off. I entered my goal weight and found that it would take 2743 calories for me to maintain that. That is so high! It sounds so doable! I hate having to chart and measure and calculate, but it is necessary for me to make it to the next step in my evolution. Just like in my closet and my finances, I have to take inventory and make a plan to get from point A to point B. I am so grateful for this, because it has definately opened my eyes. I dont have to end my life, I just have to alter it to fit into my hightest ideal. And I have a bit of leeway to do it. I mean, I was thinking I needed to do 1800 calories and I get a thousand more than that! I mean....WOW! This sounds too good to be true. But I'm going to try it out. I am going to eat 2700 calories per day this week. That is the only change I am going to make. I will not be all crazy about the type of calories at this point. I am just going to limit my caloric intake to be closer to that of my dream weight and see what happens. Wish me luck!

Last week my goal was to: Walk the building I work in...(which is three floors), for my entire lunch break. The rules were simple. I had to keep a regular pace and RUN the stairs. I was not allowed to stop until I was done.

The results: I walked 4 out of five days. The other day, I had to go do some shopping on my break.
~Day one: I only did the entire building two and half times. Every day thereafter, I did the building 4 1/2 times.
~I felt better and more energized ALL DAY LONG!
~Lesson learned: Discipline, Stick-to-itiveness!, My Body NEEDS physical activity THROUGHOUT day.

Goal for this week--Stick to at 2700 calories per day! This should be interesing!

Stats-2.36% of my body weight gone! 26% left to go!

Domesticated Diva???

I am so excited!!! :D I am finding myself going home and actually doing things to my home. It is NOT a conscious choice, its just like somthing that I do now! And I am too happy. It has long been a dream of mine to have that "Martha Bug" and its happening. And I feel better doing it. I think its because I have turned cleaning into a meditation. I dont get to have that much time to myself, so I have found a way to be with my family, but be with myself, and at the same time making my home beautifully immaculate! Its quite a wonderful feeling to wake up and everything being in its place. I feel like I am finally sinking into myself and my external world is starting to reflect that! Yippee! lol

Is Black History for the birds???

I was just wondering...does it feel like Black History Month to yall? I remember when I was younger, it had a specific aura to it. Now I feel nothing. Sigh. Just wondering.

Talking White

I don't even want to go here, because this issue has been dragged all up and through the dirt so many times in so many venues, however my life begs me to consider it. Yesterday my mom called my job, and my friend said she sounded white...when I later brought this up to my mom, because it was funny to me. She got this really white "thing" in her voice and I could tell that she beamed with pride. Pride???? She went on to tell me how many people over the years have mistaken her for a white woman over the phone, and she said it like this was a good thing. Um...first of all I'm just gone say it. I believe there is a thing called talking "white" and its not necessariy talking in proper english, but there is a definite "difference" between the way that a white person speaks and the way black people speak. I dont believe that one is better than the other, but there are differences in dialect that are obvious. Please dont ask, What is talking white, because we all know what that is.

Now, I have a regular voice and a professional voice, but NEVER is it my goal to sound anything other than what I am, and never would I take pride in someone telling me so. I speak how I speak...mostly correctly, sometimes not. Always real...always me. It really hurt me to have that conversation with my mom last night, because when I offered my opinion that someone making a big deal over your dialect sounding white, is not a compliment, IMO...she FLAT OUT said it was. And argued me down about it, until I realized...this is not my battle. Its just a difference in our P.O.V. Again, I had to be faced with a few life facts:

1) I am not my mother, and thats okay.
2) We dont always have to agree.
3) I get a certain pleasure for opposing her views.
4) Usually cuz her views are just plain WRONG! LOL

My man was in the background talking about how somewhere along the way, she must've gotten a pat on the head so to speak for being able to assimilate into the culture that she found herself in (work)...and now she believes that is good. This is insane!!! The conversation was so long, and so heated that it cant all go here, but what do you think? Is it a compliment for someone to marvel at the fact that you sound um...white?

Superbowl Sunday

Where were you during the BIGGEST GAME of the year? I was in my living room gyrating and thangs. BOTH my children were asleep by 8:30 PM. Yep, you heard right!!! I said EIGHT THRITY. That never happens. My man was at a Superbowl party. And so I had the house pretty much all to myself. I got a chance to just let loose. I cleaned a little, danced a LOT! Showered and got all greasy, practiced my strip tease by candlelight. Cooked dinner, made my lunch for today, still didnt do my hair, but only one HUGE project per day! :) Glad I got the chance to just let loose and do ME! I am fun! hahahha

Financial Fitness

This weekend was EXHAUSTING! I actually sat down and went through bags of mail that I have been avoiding for almost two years. I know I dont ever have extra money, so when I see a bill...I usually look at it, sigh, then put it in a pile to be taken care of later. Later was almost two years for most things...some even more. Have you ever looked at shit that you put aside. Things that intimidate you, threaten to choke you. It was very emotional. I saw things about myself that I just didnt like. And for the first time, I had to REALLY face my denial. My inability to see the truth that sits right in front of me, surrounds me, drowning me. I looked at how MANY duplicate invoices I had. How many times, they tried to contact me to get me to be honorable and hold up my end of the bargain. How many times had I said FUCK YOU! I got what I wanted. Now if I hit the lottery, I'll pay you...but until then GET OFF MY BACK, DAMN! I mean I had NERVE. There were even some invoices in there that were in the area of $20.00. I didnt pay something that was TWENTY DOLLARS!! I ruined my credit for chump change??? . I felt so ashamed. I felt sad, angry, and a whole host of other emotions. It took forever. But it was eye-opening. It let me know a lot about who I am, and helped me have a starting point to who I want to be. I am so excited about this. Progress is GOOD! That was the hard part...taking off the mask and looking at myself. Acknowledging my ignorance, and a H-U-G-E character flaw on my part is so freeing. NOW I have a choice. Before I acted on conditioned responses and beliefs. NOW I have the courge to look honestly at my situation, and find a solution. I owe quite a lot more than my guestimate from my last credit report, but it is still feasible that with my current income, I will be able to pay off half of it this year. AND da-da-da DOM!! The best part, I will still be able to live. I will cut corners, but I can definately DO THIS! And the REAL best part, is that I am setting my boys and my family up on a road that will lead us to be free of cosumer debt and help us to form a healthy relationship with money and abundance. Yay!! Happy Monday! :)