tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71118617326713653812024-03-19T12:45:41.103-07:00The More I Understand...The More I GROW!I have JUST defined the meaning of SUCCESS for my life. It is living the life that I WANT TO LIVE!! And yes. I am successful!Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.comBlogger275125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-50644696235193224352011-04-08T10:33:00.000-07:002011-04-08T10:33:14.317-07:00WhewI havent been here in a while. I've toyed around with the idea of starting another blog, as I realized that I felt this one was outdated...
But...upon further speculation and re-reading some of my past posts...I absolutely adore this blog!! It was a beginning of sorts. I didnt think so at the time, but it was. Lots of beauty happening in Hades. I WAS being rebuilt.&Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-48303819510508797322010-01-11T08:44:00.000-08:002010-01-11T09:14:16.580-08:00I gotta do it!I finally figured it out. Why I feel so repressed and unsatisfied. Because I am NOT allowing myself to have the opportunity to live my dreams. I have always dreamed big. Shit, I cant help it. I am a dreamer by creation. I have always seen big and grand things for myself. My tastes have always been waaay outside of my 'belief range' ...and I didnt have anyone to really encourage my high Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-23314274921467411402010-01-08T06:44:00.000-08:002010-01-08T06:45:11.002-08:00Its getting harder and harder to get out of bed. That is all.Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-22443141368275255902009-12-28T06:28:00.000-08:002009-12-28T06:51:14.683-08:00Blahxmas-fuckitallhate this life-blah, chunk, blah!!!I do all the right things.I speak affirmatively.I dont let little things get me down.I give whenever someone is in need and I can help.I speak life over situations.When someone approaches me in a foul mood, I do what I can to dissemenate it.I pray and meditate daily.I do my best at forgiving myself and all others (not the easiest)I dream BIG!!! I try. I try and fake it til I make it... Hoping Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-60951803304853717552009-11-18T08:15:00.000-08:002009-11-18T08:16:46.696-08:00UpdateI just got a call. The new tenant that has brought all of the drama, is being evicted TODAY! Nice and easy solution to the problem. Does it help me feel more safe? We'll see...Still perusing housing ads.Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-26057042828020624132009-11-18T06:17:00.000-08:002009-11-18T06:45:44.427-08:00I havent blogged. I havent had much to say. I have had some good days, I have had some bad days. Lately... My mood has been better, but my life has been worse. Go figure!Long story short...the wonderful, beautiful, affordable place close to my job that was my absolute DREAM for a start over for my boys and I is a BUST! Its all of the above still...but VERY UNSAFE. Now...on a non-existent Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-31827290861909446232009-08-03T07:57:00.000-07:002009-08-03T08:03:30.426-07:00Good LifeWe moved. We love. We left some things behind. And we are eagerly anticipating moving forward with clarity, strength, spiritual honesty and LIFE!!! My family is in such a better place...because mommy finally had the faith and motivation to make the 'tough' decisions. I am so proud of myself for finally standing up for what is right and just. I am proud of myself to pray with all that I am toKeelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-10220579596570735252009-07-22T06:34:00.000-07:002009-07-22T06:52:46.538-07:00Faith feels good...So I will continue to be faithful. New house, new car, new streams of income, new levels of accuracy in living. On the mark! No sin....BULLSEYE!!! Yeah...I love the precision of living truthfully from my heart. I love the feeling of being calm and effective in the world. I love hearing my mind trying to figure out how a and b are going to happen. I love seeing them happen... despite the Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-77536820655434983912009-06-28T20:13:00.001-07:002009-06-28T20:30:04.718-07:00:)By Sharing His Spirit...He connected worlds!!!I will always love you Mike Jackson! I admire the strength of who you are. You did it! You did good! We appreciate all that you shared with us. And we are thankful that you left so much of yourself here. you have touched so many souls...generations!! MY BOYS ADORE YOU! Especially Jeremiah. I am so thankful to have been alive to experience Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-91070179369642262172009-06-25T20:28:00.000-07:002009-06-25T21:00:22.271-07:00...Que Sara, SaraI try to make him mine, but...he is not for meI try to taste his heat, his cool, his innocenceThe bittersweet pain of the first loss, the first to remind you of what knowing and trusting is 'like'by revealing its counter partHuman vulnerabilities......Pulsating in the wonderment of expectancy.Open and free!!To be shattered, by inevitability-- of cycles. There is one for harvesting and for sowingKeelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-41912284252963162612009-06-25T07:34:00.001-07:002009-06-25T07:54:41.080-07:00Do I want too much?When the vision that you hold for your life and your actual life dont add up...Is it the vision that is faulty or it me??I dont like to complain, but that is all I seem to be able to do lately. I dont know what else to do. I REALLY dont! Its like... I want to be who I KNOW myself to be...but then my life gets in the way...and I remain who I've always been. Two days late and many $$$'s short! Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-42307709786104750192009-06-25T06:42:00.001-07:002009-06-25T06:43:34.038-07:00I am short on...Money, Time, Money, Sanity, Peace, Clarity, MUTHA FUGGGIN MONEY!!!! Sigh...Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-23611473902409352512009-06-19T06:45:00.001-07:002009-06-19T06:57:49.841-07:00If you knew...you'd feel pity. So usually, I dont share.So much of my thoughts are here...but some I just cant. I wish I could. because telling them to God hasnt done much...so I need to get them out. But there are just too many people that I know that read this, and I truly dont feel like the questioning eyes, random pleasantries that otherwise would not be extended, and just that feeling..Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-54758360329740229082009-06-17T07:18:00.000-07:002009-06-17T08:18:50.298-07:00I need...stillI need rejuvenation of my mind, body and spirit. I need my soul to be magnified and expressed purely and potently through my experience of life.I need this heaviness in my abdominal cavity to be cleansed and released!I need this brain fog to clear so that I can SEE!I need for my burdens to be lifted, so that I may move about in the fashion that is most beneficial. I feel stuck. I feel a Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-51818658651979434022009-06-10T20:06:00.000-07:002009-06-10T21:05:14.742-07:00Tell the truth; ignore the devil.How honest are you in your life? Not how often do you tell the truth, but how often do you say what you truly feel and think...inside. How often do you find yourself tempering what you say and do because you are more concerned with how other people will be about your expression? I am a humble person by nature. And I am extremely empahtetic, which basically translates into: I dont want peopleKeelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-71975700877269135482009-06-01T07:24:00.001-07:002009-06-01T07:32:44.846-07:00Just checkinDoes it mean because I deeply enjoy and appreciate breaks from my two lovely toddlers...that I raise ALONE...mean that I'm a selfish mom?My mom told me that I am selfish...and must be losing my mothering instincts. Sharp tongue, harsh words. They hurt me. Not so much because of what she said...but her intent.Once she let me "know bout myself", she thanked herself for 'correcting' me and moved Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-82555543651254268302009-06-01T06:37:00.000-07:002009-06-01T06:53:38.316-07:00Happy First Day of the rest of your life!!!Something about June first created anticipation in me for the last two weeks! Dont know what it is...I mean there is a retrograde ending...so thats good if youre into that type of thing. But for me. June 1 is a time of new beginnings...it is the beginning of the 'put up or shut up time'. It is a time for pruning this life and leaivng behind a beautful hand chosen pattern. I am SO EXCITED!!! Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-73957476521799440652009-05-18T12:23:00.000-07:002009-05-18T12:28:56.065-07:00SighSometimes, I'm flying high. All deep in the sweetness of love. High on the hog!Somtimes I fall down...and wallow in depths of silt. Swine flu! I am thankful for life and all that it encompasses....some days are just not as easy as others. Today...Today was a challenging day. But...such is life right?GRRRRRR!Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-5407295197726331782009-05-03T18:06:00.000-07:002009-05-04T06:57:27.894-07:00Ode to my FAVORITE!I see a vision of the life that I have secretly dreamed of. I say secretly, because I have long since abandoned the belief that I could have what I wanted. So often in life, I was told that I couldn't have what I wanted. I was either offered a consolation, which in my eyes never matched up to what I truly desired. Or I was told, "too bad, sad!....in life you dont always get what you want." which,Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-79208754992820780812009-04-30T07:10:00.000-07:002009-04-30T07:32:39.720-07:00Ramdomly Speaking to (you)Thanks.You are right.I will try.no...I will DO!I love you.Where that will lead? Who knows?Someone does...Not me!Yes I do! And I will.But...Thanks again.Your truth is a healing to my soul.I dont like to disappoint you. So I will try harder not to.I havent felt this way about someone ever....Either you like it or you dont...never really mattered much...NOW...it does. hmm curious!You in-spire me Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-14751215803198050462009-04-14T07:32:00.000-07:002009-04-14T08:11:05.615-07:00Misplaced MyselfDo you ever feel, that you are just NOT in the right space?This feeling is so pervasive that its making me physically ill. Well it could be that damn rotavirus as well...but I honestly am feeling that there is a change that has happened...and somehow my physical world has not yet adjusted to it. Because I feel VERY uneasy about a lot of things in my life. I am not LOVING my job like I used to.Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-23639375217408729532009-04-01T09:44:00.000-07:002009-04-01T10:58:08.394-07:00If I were a boy....Or at the very least if I didnt give a fuck....Then I could: Care less about how people throw their opinions around about me.Live my life without cares or conerns about my childrens wherabouts and the such.Tell a bitch to SUCK MY DICK if they say something that I dont appreciate.Live my life without concern about the future, and how my present choices are shaping it.Be' okay' with the fact that Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-6129125218952063932009-03-30T08:09:00.001-07:002009-03-30T08:14:04.856-07:00What the fugg???Me: Are your hardwoods light, medium or dark?Her: Ugly! (laughter in unison)Her: Well dark I guess...dark is ugly, right?Me: (Pause of disbelief) Um.... so what color?Her: Probably medium.Hmmmmm? Is this only weird because I am dark?Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-75331690814951008162009-03-26T06:31:00.000-07:002009-03-26T06:43:27.820-07:00To you:You are the last thing I remember before I drifted off to sleep.The sound of your voice, the feeling of your tenderness and understanding helped me drift off in such a wonderful way.You were the first thing I thought of when I woke up in the morning.I smiled.I think of you, often.I wonder...I imagine. I try and tell myself, slow down. Dont go there, yet.But my heart is full of love for you and Keelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7111861732671365381.post-48979244524867251042009-03-25T07:06:00.000-07:002009-03-25T07:33:07.450-07:00PruningSome things dont deserve to be in my life. Some people dont deserve to be in my life. Some thoughts dont deserve to be in my life.So they wont!Some things need to be changed, evolved, or released in love. IT IS DONE.Sometimes you have to open your eyes, W-I-D-E, and see things for what they are. Nothing is ever as bad or as good as it seems. It is. Allow it. Thats the only WAY. You cant dealKeelahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06975149167625014965noreply@blogger.com0