I work at a virtual office...and one of our clients numbers must be similar to a crisis center, because I have received two calls from there since I have worked here...the first one being a new mother who had NOTHING for the newborn she was about to receive the next day. I was a new mom myself, so my heart went out to her. I packed up all of the clothes that my baby could no longer fit...and took them to her. I dont know what motivated me to do it...I just hate to hear people in distress...specially when I can relate...however--
Fast forward to today...a young lady called in...looking for a crisis center. The correct response being, "You have the wrong number". But I asked her...well what is the problem? And she told me...NOt to tell all her business..but she has a mental illness that she cannot take medicine for due to her being pregnant, 7.5 months to be exact...sound familiar?? Well it should, cuz I am...and her baby will be one in a week...mine in a month. She told me that her family doesnt want to deal with her...because they dont understand her illness and they just think she is a liar, with "issues". Her man just left her because of the same thing. When I heard all of this...my heart began to ache. She was obviously a young woman...and I felt the "tired" in her voice. I heard a voice...offering her my number just in case she needed to vent. I heard myself saying this over and over again...as I searched online for a number for her to call. I BLATANTLY ignored this voice. Telling myself, that I am not a professional, I cannot help her...and this may be true...but I honestly think that I was more afraid of actually having to KNOW her pain. Because her pain was VERY similar to my own...and it scared the shit out of me. When I hung up...I immediately regretted not extending myself...at a time when we could both have used it. I immediately regretted it. I feel heavy. Not as heavy as I do with my own...ish! But i feel like that could have been for me...that could have been a way for us both to heal...or at least talk to someone who could truly understand the other...tho I'm not bi-polar! (At least I dont think I am--sometimes I must wonder :)) I guess that if it is really meant for us to hook up...then somehow we will find each other again. I'm sorry God, for dropping the ball on that one. I dont think it could have been more obvious...and I ran away like a little POWNK! Please forgive me.
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6 comments:
are your calls screened? i'm sure if you gave her your number you would have been breaking the rules right?
on another note, i know how i am. i would've been giving her my cell and everything too. i'm just like that.
and you know what, i think everyone has a bit of bi-polarism in them.
p.s. you did the right thing even though you feel sad about it.
you didn't drop the ball...everything happens for a reason. xoxo
It takes a giving heart to address someone else's burdens as if they were your own. You did the right thing...you can't give all of you, save some for yourself.
Hey I'm late again, but I agree with the ladies above/before me. I don't think that you dropped the ball at all:) Dropping the ball would have been to "bang" as soon as you realized those women had the wrong number. You were kind enough to give them some of your time, and that was a GOOD thing!
Just remember that God NEVER drops the ball. He has a plan for you. He knows you're not a therapist. His plans are not always revealed to us. Maybe it was just meant for you to see that you are not alone. Or to know that there are people in the world (like yourself) that care, and are concerned.
Don't know if I wrote that out correctly, but I hope you got the gist of it. Any questions can & should be directed to the Advil Corporation, LOL! ~ Inside joke!
Also, I left you a comment on the post before.
Always Tardy,
Nic
I agree with Madpoetic, you have a good heart. I don't think you dropped the ball either.
thanks so much yall...i do feel much better! all these feelings are getting on my nerves tho!
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