If you knew...you'd feel pity. So usually, I dont share.

So much of my thoughts are here...but some I just cant. I wish I could. because telling them to God hasnt done much...so I need to get them out. But there are just too many people that I know that read this, and I truly dont feel like the questioning eyes, random pleasantries that otherwise would not be extended, and just that feeling... poor you!!

Looking at my sons makes me stronger. Looking at them and wondering if I can do this for us? Makes me feel my failure DEEPLY.

I work (albeit late as hell) every day. And the payoff is not what I need. Do you know what it feels like to not have what you need? Do you know what it feels like to not have what you NEED with two children? Maybe, maybe not. But it doesnt feel good. I am a fighter. I have suffered worse. But sigh... So tired. I smile through it...DAILY! I smile over it and around it, minute by minute.

I.am.tired.

That is all.

Working on making the best out of the rest of this day. Hope you are too! Hope its easier for you too!