wwoooohssssahhhh

I sit.
...and I wait.

I wait for the next time it comes around. I wait to see how I respond.
Will it be painless this time? Or will it ache long after the wound has been...
TOUCHED.

I wonder how much I really gave, because the pain is lingering...I feel.
I feel the past slipping, to wherever it goes, when its no longer NOW.
It hurts. Deeply.

So I cry. Sit. In stillness. Waiting.


I move forward, chagrined. Destined to succeed.

How naive of me to believe that I could walk this earth, and love...unscathed!!!

I laugh bitterly at myself for that one! I mock the promises of life after death.

Fuck later. I need NOW!

I am afraid of the day when I wake up...totally okay.

But I yearn for that day as well. Because then, I can pick up the pieces, and continue crafting my masterpiece!

Its will be beautiful. Not inspite of, but in light of.

So through this...I say thank you.

Thank you for revealing to me that place that still needs. Still hurts. The place in me not protected by the wall.

You have shown me, my vulnerability. My softness. My love.

I will continue...not inspite of, but in light of.