Never give up hoping!

I have been in prayer. And not that whole I'm "SOOO spiritual" prayer...but some serious...down and dirty, deep from my heart of hearts prayers. I have been hurting for so long...some things I was aware of, other revelations were truly a shock to me. All of this shit has been quite overwhelming and that is very much an understatement. I'mma tell you, when I asked God to cleanse me and help me to rejoin Him, I was expecting a few dark clouds, maybe a sprinkle of rain and then this parting in the sky of Heavenly GOODNESS! Sheeeeeeyid!

I got fugged up repressed memories, aches and pains, mood swings out of this world, gas and a host of other shit that has me feeling very low!

But all the while, I tried to maintain a semblence of hope. Why? Because I am a believer in this process. Even though it has its highs and low-lows, I believe that who emerges on the other side of this will be stronger, healthier and just better.But how do I keep my faith during trying times such as these? I have to FIND things that are good in my life even amidst the stormy weather. I have two wonderful children, so its not that hard. They make me smile and refocus on the good things in life, even when I dont see them right off. So on the days when I feel the worst, I am truly blessed to have my Boys.

So in keeping with the traumatic trend of my last few weeks, on my way to work on Wednesday I hit a huge sink hole which made the bottom of my car hit the ground. I got ish to do, so I cussed, got angry, then chugged on back home. Once there my man changed my tire (JUST bought a new set...was pissed about it) and boosted my car and sent me on my way. When I passed the scene of the crime there was a beligerant lady with her car parked in front of the sink hole. So I detoured to add my two cents. Long story short...The local gas company made the hole that was left uncovered...so they are paying for whatever is broken on my car to get fixed! WHATEVER???!!!! DID YOU HEAR ME? I AM TOO EXCITED!! I got new powersteering, the whole arm and leg of the car that was hit, new front end, wheel alignment and they are throwing in an oil change. And they are paying for the rental that I have right now! I had a list of things that needed to get done to my car, and thankfully that list has been whittled down to just ONE THING! So despite how my moods want to tell me life is...I know otherwise. I know that there is a silver lining in every dark cloud. I know that I am being held and loved as I travel through life. I just wanted to share this testimony. I hope that it uplifts someone, cuz it sure as heaven uplifted me. It challenges me to look at what I perceive to be setbacks in a whole new light. I am thankful.

Good times are coming. I KNOW IT! Thank you. I do appreciate it!