Whats real?

Life has slapped the shit out of me. THANK GOD its gone! I am currently facing many criseees at all once...but ya know what? I asked God to reveal Himself... and I guess at a time where you have two small children in the dead of winter, probable eviction, car died, job an hour away... 3 busses, -30 degrees.... and you simply wake up early and do whatcha gotta do. No stuttering or stalling. THATS WHATS REAL! I keep getting all these inspirational thoughts and wishes from people who are AMAZED that I catch the bus to work!! Keep my head up, they say. Uh....yeah! Where else am I gonna keep it? Keelah is a bit heavy on the drama sometimes....and thats just cuz I'm passionate about shit and drama being a part of life is no different... Sometimes it gets the best of my mind...but never me. I KNOW! I know that when times seem the toughtest, its not a time to fall (all the way) apart. (carefully ignoring my last post) Its time to get quiet...cuz BELIEVE there is a helluva lesson involved. Sometimes, I need to sit back and accept kind words, and thoughts from loved ones. sometimes I need to understand that I am not in this alone. Sometimes I need to learn that if it is to be...then its up to me. Depending on the situation...I adjust and act accordingly. I love connection, because I can 'feel' which way to lean...and let it do what it do. I am thankful that somehow arrangements are being met to keep our place. My car will be fixed soon, but for the time being, I get to meet some very nice and interesting people on the bus. God has sent me quite a few lovely souls to accompany me on my journies. I get to save money on gas, and just get in a few more steps to my day!! I get help from my family in keeping my kids and they get to spend quality time with grandma, who despite my feelings...is a great disciplinarian and teacher. My son actually respects time outs now. Whooda thunk it? Time out? WTH? I get to feel that accomplishment of doing what I need to BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! I need that sometimes. And in this process, I relearned that productivity can be as good a feeling as relaxation. Still trying to integrate that one into practical living! My mind resists that notion something fierce! But the fact that I KNOW...THATS REAL!

And in the spirit of changes and changing... CONGRATS TO AMERICA! Happy Innauguration day, ALL! Its a great day to be free!