I LOVE Aunt Jemima!

Aunt Jemima
Born into slavery in 1834, the plump, smiling, kerchief-wearing black woman was really Nancy Green. In 1893 she signed a lifetime contract and appeared in ads all over the world.However, her outdated and negative portrayal of an African-American woman offended many and in 1989, her image was updated by removing her kerchief, adding pearl earrings, a lace collar and slimmer look.

I remember an episode of "A Different World" where there was this whole "thing" about Aunt Jemima...I know that was used as a taunt for dark children back in the day...but I dont know. I kinda think she is fly the way she is...I mean she was born into slavery...and still mangaged to DO HER THING...lifetime contract??...what yall know bout lifetime contracts? I think she is AWESOME and I dont know that because a few black people are uncomfortable with the portrayal of her (which is actually HER image) is good enough reason to have changed it. I mean after all she is representing not our faces, but our POTENTIAL for GREATNESS! She was a slave who left a LEGACY. She is the first living trademark. She must have been so proud of her accomplishments. I think it would be wonderful to have a throwback of her original packaging...in RECOGNITION of her accomplishment. After all, she isnt a character...she is a WOMAN and definatley inspiring to me! I love you Auntie J!

Girl! You gone REAP what you sew!!

I remember whenever someone crossed my mother, really or imagined one of her most habitual comments would be..."They gone reap what they sew!" And the same implied to me, if something I did wasn't what SHE expected of me...then I would get threatened with having to lay in the bed I made...haha...Well even as a youth...I was fine with that. I dont mind laying in the bed I make...even if that mug has all types of shit in it...If I made it...then I am willing to lay in it-or remake it (which I have always considered an option). Well I wonder why were comments like this reserved for negative times? I mean if I sew love, congratulations, understanding, compassion, and acceptance...then reaping what I sew is pretty sweet. If I make my bed to be soft, comforting, inviting and sacred--then laying in my bed could very well be the perfect ending to a wonderful day. I was just examining some of the ways that I have thrown the fish out with the water just because I associate the message with unfavorable feelings...but Im so thankful today for that 'saying' that was drilled into my mind time and time again. Because now I have the choice to accept the perfection in it. I can openly accept that I will reap what I sew, and that I will lay in the bed I make...because I intend to sew only what I will love to reap. And my bed will be created with intention. So how bout yall? What chall sewing lately? Is the reaping satisfying to you? If not...? Sounds like we have work to do! Love yall! Have a wonderful weekend!

...for Chuck

Dear God...
I hurt. This time I dont hurt for me and my life...I hurt for Chuck. A client of a client whose wife of 57 years passed away last week...and I spoke with him this morning. He called regarding a letter that he receied addressed to the both of them. He asked..."what does it mean?" In hindsight I can see that Marie is not gone...they are forever one. What a poetic answer...however at the time all I had to offer was my ear. I listened while he spoke. He told me that he missed her something sore...and he did not like that she was no longer here. She suffered, but her leaving only offered small comfort. Because he misses her. He told me he didnt know if he was coming or going sometimes. He told me about his doctors appointment and how everything came back wonderfully. No diabets, no high blood pressure, no disorders whatsover...in this world and for him to be in his 80's that is DAMN good! He says that his Marie is making sure that he is well. I agree. 57 years...is how long they have been together...and in my ignorance I once said that I couldnt imagine being with anyone that long...but to hear the love that fills his heart for her...forced me to be honest. His greatest pain reflects lifes greatest joy. A life of love. A life where you loved and got love in return. He asked a favor of me...could I call him from time to time...and just ask him how he was. I got so choked up...I would be honored. He kept apologizing for talking to me...I was at a loss. His pain was so raw and so real...I felt it over the phone. I still carry it in my chest right now...hoping that if I carry some that it will somehow lighten his load. He told me he was so lonely. I know the feeling. Not his circumstance...but lonely and I go WAAy BACK. I want to be there for him. It moved me how honest he is...and how he is willing to ask for what he needs from the deepest part of him. It is a quality that I have yet to master. It is very admirable. I love him. I will make it a point to connect with him every day. I thought it might be nice to visit him from time to time...even tho thats what he pays our client for. I figure that he could use someone that is willing to be there because they are compelled to be and not cuz they get paid to be . I dont get it...a few months ago...one of my biggest complaints was that I couldnt "feel" anything...now I seem to feel EVERY thing. I am thankful...I am alive. I am thankful...for the ways that I am used. God you are the greatest! Please stay close to Chuck during this time. Help him to keep the love that he has in his heart living eternal. Amen.

Am I wrong???

Now usually when someone starts off anything with that question...I usually automatically say YES!!! But hear me out...I have a situation...that I try to be objective about...but its just not working. My mom is watching my son this morning...and when I called he was crying. Now noone likes the sound of their baby crying I'm sure...but what she said threw me. She said, "He wants to be picked up...and I'm not going to do that". Now on one side, I understand that if you do cave in to every demand that you will produce a spoiled child (yes he is a bit spoiled, we pick him up and cuddle him MOST of the time) But never!!?? I'm not understanding why the idea of giving him affection when he is craving it...is considered a bad thing? Now mind you, she does hold him...but not when he cries for attention. She says sometimes that he just wants to be held...as if that is a good reason to "not" hold him. I am at a loss. I feel like his desire to be held...is a DAMN good reason to do it!!! He is a baby. It is important for his father and I to create a LOVING atmosphere as both of us were raised in environments where it was basically not okay to expect for our emotional needs to be met. So Im knowing thats why we are so sensitive to his needs in that way. I want him to be emotionally healthy and i dont think thats a good thing to let him know early that i will keep you clean and move your digits and talk to you...but if you need to feel my closeness...i may or may not give it to you. Because I dont want you to beleive that you will always get your way in life...I dont think thats the best way to teach that lesson. I want my son to beleive that he can always expect for his needs to be met. Now reality is...he wont always get everything he wants...but in his family...I want for him to feel safe, protected, appreciated and above all that he matters. Not just his physical needs. Personally I think thats where a lot of parents go wrong..giving too much emphasis on taking care of the physical needs of the child and totally ignoring the rest...children are not just little bodies! They are little humans with complexities and human needs for closeness and intimacy just like the rest of us...I feel like I'm too passionate about this...and I may be wrong...but what do you think? Am I taking this too seriously? sigh Or am I just in a mood and everything that rubs me--hurts?

Swinging

I am so tired of swinging up and down. One day I understand this whole thing and the next day my mood is just sour. I am empowered one day...and totally deflated the next. Sigh. I know that this is a part of the process, but I sure am tired of swinging back and forth. Last night...I SAW myself making a mountain out of a molehill. I felt myself having personal issues, but instead of praaying about it...I started an arguement. And then I heard myself say, "I dont want to argue...I just need to understand your thought process when making this decision". The truth was...I didnt need to know...I already knew, I just wanted to hear it verbalized so that I could justify the 'tude that I already had brewing beneath the surface. All of this I was a witness to...but I felt powerless to choose differently. What is happening? When will these mood swings balance out? It is exhausting...to be on top of the world...and then fall right back "in" it. I want to scream!!! Hmmm Maybe now would be a good time to pray...but I am too tired for that too. Sigh..
Jesus...help me.

Elevated

Its time for me to elevate my mind. I have been hearing these lies for so long that I have accepted them as truth. What was once crazy insanity, is now a belief that I measure myself by...and I fall short. When I was younger I was SKINNEEEE! I couldnt wait to have hips and thighs...they were the mark of a woman to me. I thought it was so sexy when I saw a real life woman being all sensual and sultry...free to express her womanhood as glory. I felt so boyish, so "young". I couldnt wait til I had some meat on my bones with which to hypnotize the world. Well...technically I have that body now...only unlike my wiser and younger self...I hate her! I hate that my thighs are so meaty...they are the sexy long legs I begged for as a youth...but now I feel fat...and quite honestly I am not. Why do I feel fat? Because the standard for beauty tells me I am, with every image, every advertisement for weight loss supplements, claiming this woman went from a size 8 to a 4...I feel HUGE! I am told that beautiful hair is long and flowy and shiny (insert beautiful music and woman moaning while rubbing her long luscious locks here)--everything that is NATURALLY not my hair. My hair is curly--VERY curly. It is not shiny by nature--and tho it is about 11-13 insches long...the shrinkage has it looking like its about 4 inches long. Its beautiful and complex. It soft and fragile. It is bold and unique...but do I respect it. Not really. Actually my actions say I am ashamed. I love my hair...but only in secret. Becaue most people dont get it..so that means I cant get it either. Insanity that I have accpted as truth. My skin is mahogany brown. I prefer not to wear makeup...not becaues I dont know how to wear it...cuz thats the excuse I give, but because I LOVE the way I look and feel without it. I only "want" to wear makeup because its like a cultural thing. Everyone is doing it! haha and yes if everyone jumped off the bridge...Its like so many little things that I have adopted a long time ago...that dont make sense to me...yet my world operates by them just the same. I should be seen and not heard...that is from childhood. And my voice is stifled. Ladies dont sit with their legs open...well I always wore jeans...didnt see the point for crossing my legs. All these many messages of past and present only serve to say that what you are naturally is wrong. It is not good enough. You need to be more... But more what??? How can I be more than I am. I'm already everything. I am so much, and I limit myself by believing that somehow I must be more. I must appreciate ALL that I AM. After all ...I am a child of the MOST HIGH! How is that not enough of anything??? He thinks I am perfect. Me and my coiled hair, my soft beautiful body, my introspective mind, and my kind heart. My need for relaxation--DAILY!!! My need to speak what I feel is true, but be humble enough to be corrected if I am not. My fear of failure and my equally insane fear of success. My light and my darkness. My insides and my out...how could I believe anything less? How could I buy into the whole 'not enough' paridigm. I am that I am...cuz he made me that way. And elevation not improvement is my motivation. Today I claim my divine inheritance. I am free to be me. I may not be right, but I am real. I may be different tomorrow, but today this is me. Today I am grateful for all that I am...and I promise that no matter what temporary mood takes over--, I will maintain my peace and my truth. I refuse to buy into the whole thin and lightly tanned and perfect anything exists. My perfection comes from me TOTALLY accepting myself as God made me. Claiming and reflecting my love and joy for the precious gift of life and communion. Today I dont have anything to do but accept and be myself. No matter what the status quo...I have to dare to be me...there is only one of me...and the world misses out...if i am trying to live up to any other standards than the ones that God made for me? I dont have to look a certain way to be considered beautiful...if I accpet the gift of beauty that is naturally mine. I do not have to talk a certain way or pretend to be where I am not in order to be...what I "think" I should be. As most of these thoughts are not mine anyway! Its pure madness...and my awareness of this in this moment...makes me SO GRATEFUL. I know I'm rambling...but its like...I felt so heavy...worrying about weight, and finances, and how my life appears to be...all the while missing opportunity to be grateful for how my life IS. It is lovely. I still have human problems, but I have God...so...by comparison. I cant be too concerned with that. I still have places where I need to judge less and love more, but I am being worked with on that. I have places where I choose fear over faith...but its all good. It happens. Do I stay there...no siree...I always come back. Cuz I live here. In Gods place. I dont live in Detroit...I live in God. I dont live in this world--with all of its falseness...I live IN GOD! Right now...I am. How sweet it is--to be loved by you!

Everyone Can't Be In your Front Row

Life is like a theater, so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a FRONT ROW seat in our lives. Thereare some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It'samazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships, and even family!Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift andwhich ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which onesare on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill orjust staying still??? When you leave certain people, do you feel better orfeel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, knowand appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, themore you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more youseek things honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love andtruth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets tosit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the BALCONY of your life.You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people youare around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the peoplewho sit in the FRONT ROW of your life. Remember that FRONT ROW seats arefor special and deserving people and those who sit in Your FRONT ROW shouldbe chosen carefully.Everyone Can't Be in Your FRONT ROW.

Disclaimer: I did not make this up, I found it...so while I swear I can be deep and deliver a great message...this one is not mine. Much props to the author tho!