So I will continue to be faithful. New house, new car, new streams of income, new levels of accuracy in living. On the mark! No sin....BULLSEYE!!!
Yeah...I love the precision of living truthfully from my heart. I love the feeling of being calm and effective in the world.
I love hearing my mind trying to figure out how a and b are going to happen. I love seeing them happen... despite the questions.
I love knowing that you were sent here for a short but nice season. :) Thank you for everything!
I love knowing that when you tell me I cant, that means that YOU cant. I, my dear, MOST DEFINATELY WILL! Just watch. Not proving anything to you. Just letting myself spread out a bit. Own this space that I'm in. Reaching for the proverbial stars and finding myself on the outer edges of this universe. Cuz honestly...I'm much too much to be contained...by your words, assumptions and perceptions of me. I am like my father. I am that I am too! And you are the same! Lets own it together. Lets not fight about it anymore, K?
I love knowing that the picture in my mind, is being created RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT!! I can SEE and FEEL it coming into my existence. I see and feel it!!! Amen! Coming back to live feels so good. {Damn! How long was I out? }
The dead pieces are falling away. Being healed by His radiant light. I feel worthy of the blessing. I asked for it. I called it forth...and now...I ACCEPT!
Be thankful for this moment, for this moment is your life! I love that! Yes!
Showing posts with label Delicious Living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Delicious Living. Show all posts
22 July, 2009
03 May, 2009
Ode to my FAVORITE!
I see a vision of the life that I have secretly dreamed of. I say secretly, because I have long since abandoned the belief that I could have what I wanted. So often in life, I was told that I couldn't have what I wanted. I was either offered a consolation, which in my eyes never matched up to what I truly desired. Or I was told, "too bad, sad!....in life you dont always get what you want." which, I guess is a true lesson. However, I am observing in my life how that has translated:
I no longer acknowledge my desires anymore...
This has served several purposes. It has kept me from being hurt and disappointed from life. If I never acknowledge that I want something, then I dont try to have it. And If i never 'try' to get it...then when I dont... I cant be mad right?
WRONG!!
I have found myself in a curious situation lately, and I feel ill prepared on how to respond to it.
I have found the love of my life. A wonderful man who is EVERYTHING I could possibly think I want and MORE! His soul FITS in mine. Comfortably and perfectly. He is sincere, honest, loving, industrious, a great father, and understanding, strong, generous, open minded, our personalities EFFORTLESSLY mesh, we want the SAME THINGS out of life, and both agree that it would be lovely to pursue that together.
I have no doubts about his feelings and intentions for me. I always have doubts...but his presence, dispells them.
I trust him. I respect his decisions, his mind, his ambition...and he loves me enough to encourage me to strive for my best! And does what he can to assist me. Which is a whole helluva lot. I can DEPEND on him. And he wants me too! He wants to provide...and dammit, I want to be provided for!
I UNDERSTAND him and he, I. Our communication is SUPERB! And its just and 'easy' way of being!
He holds a very high image of me, and I feel that affecting my spirit in such a positive way. I can relax when I'm with him...and finally, I am starting to believe that my unworthy feelings are wrong... And that LOVE IS REAL!!!! Its not just other people who get to live and love, and just experience happiness. It can be me too!
For the last few months, I have been healing and purging. Cleansing and learning...and now I understand why...
He has come... And we have a job to do.
He is my friend, my partner, my love, my inspiration, my 'conscience', lol. He is so wonderful, and I am very thankful for him. I feel very gay saying this... I feel weak. I feel fear, and I feel like opening up to love may hurt me in the end.... but I feel LOVE and SUPPORT more than all those things.
No longer am I waiting to exhale...
I am breathing! ALIVE! And settling quite comfortably into the notion of being with him.
Is it too soon to hear the march, and see the dress? Hmmm....maybe. But its not too soon to know that I want to laugh with him, and talk to him, and just BE with him...forever. Its not too soon to know that we have that 'special' substance about us that makes life better. We bring out the best and help to heal the worst in each other.
And we do that without trying... it just IS.
I love... again. And its wonderful! :D
May we all have THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DAY EVER!!!!!
Keelah
I no longer acknowledge my desires anymore...
This has served several purposes. It has kept me from being hurt and disappointed from life. If I never acknowledge that I want something, then I dont try to have it. And If i never 'try' to get it...then when I dont... I cant be mad right?
WRONG!!
I have found myself in a curious situation lately, and I feel ill prepared on how to respond to it.
I have found the love of my life. A wonderful man who is EVERYTHING I could possibly think I want and MORE! His soul FITS in mine. Comfortably and perfectly. He is sincere, honest, loving, industrious, a great father, and understanding, strong, generous, open minded, our personalities EFFORTLESSLY mesh, we want the SAME THINGS out of life, and both agree that it would be lovely to pursue that together.
I have no doubts about his feelings and intentions for me. I always have doubts...but his presence, dispells them.
I trust him. I respect his decisions, his mind, his ambition...and he loves me enough to encourage me to strive for my best! And does what he can to assist me. Which is a whole helluva lot. I can DEPEND on him. And he wants me too! He wants to provide...and dammit, I want to be provided for!
I UNDERSTAND him and he, I. Our communication is SUPERB! And its just and 'easy' way of being!
He holds a very high image of me, and I feel that affecting my spirit in such a positive way. I can relax when I'm with him...and finally, I am starting to believe that my unworthy feelings are wrong... And that LOVE IS REAL!!!! Its not just other people who get to live and love, and just experience happiness. It can be me too!
For the last few months, I have been healing and purging. Cleansing and learning...and now I understand why...
He has come... And we have a job to do.
He is my friend, my partner, my love, my inspiration, my 'conscience', lol. He is so wonderful, and I am very thankful for him. I feel very gay saying this... I feel weak. I feel fear, and I feel like opening up to love may hurt me in the end.... but I feel LOVE and SUPPORT more than all those things.
No longer am I waiting to exhale...
I am breathing! ALIVE! And settling quite comfortably into the notion of being with him.
Is it too soon to hear the march, and see the dress? Hmmm....maybe. But its not too soon to know that I want to laugh with him, and talk to him, and just BE with him...forever. Its not too soon to know that we have that 'special' substance about us that makes life better. We bring out the best and help to heal the worst in each other.
And we do that without trying... it just IS.
I love... again. And its wonderful! :D
May we all have THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DAY EVER!!!!!
Keelah
11 November, 2008
A Love Affair....
I love me some me! I have been loving strong on my body...and its inherent femininity.
She is so beautiful, so soft...so womanly. The rolls on my back are bothersome most days, but not today. Today...they are just reminders, of where I have been less than loving to myself in the past. They now serve as indicators of my progress moving forward. YES I CAN.
My heart is in a perpetual state of unrest. But beneath, is the an unending supply of peace that comes from the knowledge that everything has a season...and I feel deep within the depths of my loins (do I have loins?) that my harvest is upon me. I feel that everything that will encourage me to feel whole and complete, loved and supported, strong and powerful, open and surrendered is on its way. It is seeking me with the same, if not more fervor that I am in seeking it. Quiet Excitement is the theme of life right now.
I am in a good space, where my 'flaws' are okay. Everything needs love...everything flourishes under its influence!!! Surely the things that I consider less than optimal about myself and my life are governed by this cosmic rule. Surely mySelf will benefit from love instead of my constant complaining.
I dont have much money, no clothes that I consider FABULOUS, no beautifully decorated home of my own, no distinct personal style, no nothing that I think would make life more 'sparkly'...but I do have myself. And in myself, in my unrefined form, lies infinite delicious possiblities...and thankfully I can feel the fullness today! I dont know how some days I am filled with despair, and then days like these I am able to compartmentalize that...well better yet, keep it in perspective, while acknowledging all the GOOD that exists EVERWHERE...but it is so...and for this I am so thankfull!
Oooh Today is such a succulent day!!!!
She is so beautiful, so soft...so womanly. The rolls on my back are bothersome most days, but not today. Today...they are just reminders, of where I have been less than loving to myself in the past. They now serve as indicators of my progress moving forward. YES I CAN.
My heart is in a perpetual state of unrest. But beneath, is the an unending supply of peace that comes from the knowledge that everything has a season...and I feel deep within the depths of my loins (do I have loins?) that my harvest is upon me. I feel that everything that will encourage me to feel whole and complete, loved and supported, strong and powerful, open and surrendered is on its way. It is seeking me with the same, if not more fervor that I am in seeking it. Quiet Excitement is the theme of life right now.
I am in a good space, where my 'flaws' are okay. Everything needs love...everything flourishes under its influence!!! Surely the things that I consider less than optimal about myself and my life are governed by this cosmic rule. Surely mySelf will benefit from love instead of my constant complaining.
I dont have much money, no clothes that I consider FABULOUS, no beautifully decorated home of my own, no distinct personal style, no nothing that I think would make life more 'sparkly'...but I do have myself. And in myself, in my unrefined form, lies infinite delicious possiblities...and thankfully I can feel the fullness today! I dont know how some days I am filled with despair, and then days like these I am able to compartmentalize that...well better yet, keep it in perspective, while acknowledging all the GOOD that exists EVERWHERE...but it is so...and for this I am so thankfull!
Oooh Today is such a succulent day!!!!
24 October, 2008
WOMAN
For a sensual woman, foreplay happens all day long. Indulging in the senses is something that occurs all day, every day! There is little to no separation between living life and making love. When the opportunity arises, the sensual woman is always open, ready and available.
The feel of the clothes on her skin, the scent of her perfume, the movement of energy in her body, the strength and poise of her form is deeply within her awareness all day. It is a joy to simply to be a ‘woman’. She enjoys the simple pleasure of being able to inhabit the feminine energy permeating her entire experience of life.
Her life is infused with the energy of preparedness; and with earnestness she builds her home to support love, harmony, and rejuvenation. Simply being in her presence is healing and expanding. She laughs easily and is in a permanent state of deliciousness.
She is hardly ever stressed and loves to love. To give love is a pleasure and to receive is DIVINE!
Shame? Guilt? For HER desires…LAUGHABLE! She loves to get her needs met, which why she arranges her life to provide TOTAL SATIZFACTION!!
Truth is the nectar that oozes from her lips; Sweetly melting the walls of illusions that clouds the minds of fellow spirit beings. Drawing to her, honesty and truth in kind.
She sits like she knows the secret and that is because she does. She is prudent in her demeanor, but her depth is OBVIOUS! Without saying a word, you understand. This moment is a gift. You are in the presence of…WOMAN!
The feel of the clothes on her skin, the scent of her perfume, the movement of energy in her body, the strength and poise of her form is deeply within her awareness all day. It is a joy to simply to be a ‘woman’. She enjoys the simple pleasure of being able to inhabit the feminine energy permeating her entire experience of life.
Her life is infused with the energy of preparedness; and with earnestness she builds her home to support love, harmony, and rejuvenation. Simply being in her presence is healing and expanding. She laughs easily and is in a permanent state of deliciousness.
She is hardly ever stressed and loves to love. To give love is a pleasure and to receive is DIVINE!
Shame? Guilt? For HER desires…LAUGHABLE! She loves to get her needs met, which why she arranges her life to provide TOTAL SATIZFACTION!!
Truth is the nectar that oozes from her lips; Sweetly melting the walls of illusions that clouds the minds of fellow spirit beings. Drawing to her, honesty and truth in kind.
She sits like she knows the secret and that is because she does. She is prudent in her demeanor, but her depth is OBVIOUS! Without saying a word, you understand. This moment is a gift. You are in the presence of…WOMAN!
20 October, 2008
Healing is quite a strange process
Some days are easier than others. Some days I feel empowered as I step out in this new life. Despite all the changes and the fears and the residual pain...I know I can and am doing it!!!
Some days, I feel that pain. The pain that losing the familiar leaves behind. The questions start to flow automatically..."what ifs", "coulda, woulda, shouldas", "blames and faults"...
I vacillate back and forth between confidence and freedom, and lonely thoughts and the insatiable urge to run back to what I know. Begging re-entry into the past!
But deep in my heart, I know that what I know isn't the same...and it isn't for me anymore. Because despite my best efforts to remain the same...I am changed. I am change-ING! I am evolving, such a wonderful work in progress, If I must say so myself.
What was...is no longer... what can satisfy this urge. I yearn to deepen and expand and encompass and inspire. I cant do that clinging to that of late. I cant do that paralyzed by the fear that always accompanies change. I have to, for the sake of fulfilling myself, step out on the faith of the smallest voice in my mind...to TAKE what is rightfully mine! Today is a GOOD day!
Stride cant be stanker!!! Oooh wait...or can it???? Stay tuned!
Be blessed and live delicious lives.
Keelah
Some days, I feel that pain. The pain that losing the familiar leaves behind. The questions start to flow automatically..."what ifs", "coulda, woulda, shouldas", "blames and faults"...
I vacillate back and forth between confidence and freedom, and lonely thoughts and the insatiable urge to run back to what I know. Begging re-entry into the past!
But deep in my heart, I know that what I know isn't the same...and it isn't for me anymore. Because despite my best efforts to remain the same...I am changed. I am change-ING! I am evolving, such a wonderful work in progress, If I must say so myself.
What was...is no longer... what can satisfy this urge. I yearn to deepen and expand and encompass and inspire. I cant do that clinging to that of late. I cant do that paralyzed by the fear that always accompanies change. I have to, for the sake of fulfilling myself, step out on the faith of the smallest voice in my mind...to TAKE what is rightfully mine! Today is a GOOD day!
Stride cant be stanker!!! Oooh wait...or can it???? Stay tuned!
Be blessed and live delicious lives.
Keelah
09 October, 2008
The Message...
I was waiting at the light, half sleep, half angry that I had to leave my house feeling like this...and I see him. You cant tell by the pic, but man was FOINE!!! Thats neither here nor there, but just WOW!!! I loved him. And am so thankfull for the reminder. Needless to say, I stopped complaining and sung for the rest of the ride!!!
08 October, 2008
MMM-MMM Good!!!
I dont need to possess you
to en joy
The precious moments where time
comes undone
For us to be-come
togetherness
Until....
What is that???
I dont know...just something I was thinking about. I usually get so caught up in ownership and labels, that sometimes I miss the gift. Its not always about saying, "Thats mine!" Sometimes its about sitting back and basking in the glow or warmth or pure joy of what is...at this moment. Not tomorrow or even afterwards. Sometimes its okay to stay RIGHT HERE. And open up to as much joy as the moment will offer you. And let tomorrows worries fret themselves. I like that! Yes...I will live like that! Cuz I CAN!!!
to en joy
The precious moments where time
comes undone
For us to be-come
togetherness
Until....
What is that???
I dont know...just something I was thinking about. I usually get so caught up in ownership and labels, that sometimes I miss the gift. Its not always about saying, "Thats mine!" Sometimes its about sitting back and basking in the glow or warmth or pure joy of what is...at this moment. Not tomorrow or even afterwards. Sometimes its okay to stay RIGHT HERE. And open up to as much joy as the moment will offer you. And let tomorrows worries fret themselves. I like that! Yes...I will live like that! Cuz I CAN!!!
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